Recently saw the classic Casablanca, one of the best films ever made in Hollywood. For those who havent seen Casablanca, click here.
SO this got me thinking, what if at the very moment as I am writing this blog, one of our creative struggling Bollywood screenwriters has just watched this movie. After one of those "Eurekaaaaa !!!" moment, he spends the next 2 hours jotting down an original screenplay and calls Dharma Productions the very next day. Karan Johar falls in love within minutes of hearing the script, already casting SRK, Preity, Hrithik, Amitabh and Kareena with plum roles in his mind. The music would be by Shankar, Loy and Ehsaan and a guest appearance by Rani and Kajol. Production begins in full earnest, the songs are shot on location all around the world and the movie is now based in New York. Even the name of the movie was simple enough, replace the C with the K and you have a movie blessed by his own personal numerologist and astrologer.
Anyways before we go further off track, yours truly managed to lay hands on a copy of this script. Here's how it goes.
Rahul's is a dhabba cum upscale club located on Lexington Avenue in Manhattan, NY. Our protagonist Rahul played brilliantly by the effervescent SRK owns this joint serving awesome Punjabi food to rich NY based designer clothed desis. His usual customers include the friendly Punjabi uncle, a promiscous aunty, their bespectacled motu daughter whos constantly eyeing SRK, a young Gujrathi couple and groups of college girls and guys hanging out and leching at each other. SRK is a jocular yet cynical man dressed up in his fav Tommy Hillfiger. He even sings and dances with the college kids.
Amitabh Bachchan plays a local Police Commisioner who parties by night and is surrounded by a bevy of beautiful women, a desi Puff Diddy. Hes corrupt and is constantly accomodating a strict NY mayor played by Boman Irani whos trying to clamp down on a resurgent FOB resistance for green cards.
At this point, Rajpal Yadav arrives in Rahuls with 2 Green Cards documents that hes managed to steal from an intoxicated INS official, the first white guy you see in the movie. He manages to pass on those documents to SRK for safe keeping before he's arrested by Commissioner Amitabh in front of the Mayor. He's plan is to sell this to a customer whos going to come into the dhabba later that night for a high price.
Soon after, Hrithik Roshan and Preity Zinta walk into the dhabba, hand in hand seemingly in love. When Preity and SRK are introduced to each other, you can sense that they have a history and know each other from before. Hrithik seems oblivious to this flicker of recognition. Meanwhile Atif Aslam sings a sad song in the background about lost love. A change goes thru SRK, from the normally jocular and seemingly friendly he goes to his office and starts gulping down copious amounts of Alcohol.
Its then when we are shown a flashback, based in Paris almost 2-3 years ago. A young SRK and Preity meet each other for the first time. 3 songs and half an hour later they are madly in love. However SRK finds out the French hate his acting and that Parisian police are closing him on him. Preity promises to meet him at the railway station to go with him to London but doesnt turn up. A dejected SRK boards the train cursing the god of luck.
Back to the present, we realize that Hrithik and Preity badly need the green card to stay back in the US and Preity confides in SRK that shes still in love with him and the only reason she went back to Hrithik was that she didnt know he was alive and had managed to survive the 11 flops that he gave in a row. 3-4 more songs and an hour of emotions later, and 12 cartons of Glycerin bottles later, SRK decides to make the ultimate sacrifice. He holds Amitabh captive and helps Hrithik and Preity get their green cards and live happily ever after. Meanwhile in the melee, SRK shoots Mayor Boman but Amitabh saves him from the police.
And they all lived happily ever after, except sadly Boman.
ps: In the remake of this movie made 20 years later by Farvez Akhtar Jr, SRK plays the role of Amitabh.
SO this got me thinking, what if at the very moment as I am writing this blog, one of our creative struggling Bollywood screenwriters has just watched this movie. After one of those "Eurekaaaaa !!!" moment, he spends the next 2 hours jotting down an original screenplay and calls Dharma Productions the very next day. Karan Johar falls in love within minutes of hearing the script, already casting SRK, Preity, Hrithik, Amitabh and Kareena with plum roles in his mind. The music would be by Shankar, Loy and Ehsaan and a guest appearance by Rani and Kajol. Production begins in full earnest, the songs are shot on location all around the world and the movie is now based in New York. Even the name of the movie was simple enough, replace the C with the K and you have a movie blessed by his own personal numerologist and astrologer.
Anyways before we go further off track, yours truly managed to lay hands on a copy of this script. Here's how it goes.
Rahul's is a dhabba cum upscale club located on Lexington Avenue in Manhattan, NY. Our protagonist Rahul played brilliantly by the effervescent SRK owns this joint serving awesome Punjabi food to rich NY based designer clothed desis. His usual customers include the friendly Punjabi uncle, a promiscous aunty, their bespectacled motu daughter whos constantly eyeing SRK, a young Gujrathi couple and groups of college girls and guys hanging out and leching at each other. SRK is a jocular yet cynical man dressed up in his fav Tommy Hillfiger. He even sings and dances with the college kids.
Amitabh Bachchan plays a local Police Commisioner who parties by night and is surrounded by a bevy of beautiful women, a desi Puff Diddy. Hes corrupt and is constantly accomodating a strict NY mayor played by Boman Irani whos trying to clamp down on a resurgent FOB resistance for green cards.
At this point, Rajpal Yadav arrives in Rahuls with 2 Green Cards documents that hes managed to steal from an intoxicated INS official, the first white guy you see in the movie. He manages to pass on those documents to SRK for safe keeping before he's arrested by Commissioner Amitabh in front of the Mayor. He's plan is to sell this to a customer whos going to come into the dhabba later that night for a high price.
Soon after, Hrithik Roshan and Preity Zinta walk into the dhabba, hand in hand seemingly in love. When Preity and SRK are introduced to each other, you can sense that they have a history and know each other from before. Hrithik seems oblivious to this flicker of recognition. Meanwhile Atif Aslam sings a sad song in the background about lost love. A change goes thru SRK, from the normally jocular and seemingly friendly he goes to his office and starts gulping down copious amounts of Alcohol.
Its then when we are shown a flashback, based in Paris almost 2-3 years ago. A young SRK and Preity meet each other for the first time. 3 songs and half an hour later they are madly in love. However SRK finds out the French hate his acting and that Parisian police are closing him on him. Preity promises to meet him at the railway station to go with him to London but doesnt turn up. A dejected SRK boards the train cursing the god of luck.
Back to the present, we realize that Hrithik and Preity badly need the green card to stay back in the US and Preity confides in SRK that shes still in love with him and the only reason she went back to Hrithik was that she didnt know he was alive and had managed to survive the 11 flops that he gave in a row. 3-4 more songs and an hour of emotions later, and 12 cartons of Glycerin bottles later, SRK decides to make the ultimate sacrifice. He holds Amitabh captive and helps Hrithik and Preity get their green cards and live happily ever after. Meanwhile in the melee, SRK shoots Mayor Boman but Amitabh saves him from the police.
And they all lived happily ever after, except sadly Boman.
ps: In the remake of this movie made 20 years later by Farvez Akhtar Jr, SRK plays the role of Amitabh.
