Shop till he Drops

I was chatting with my bud from college today and we got talking about how his life has changed since he got engaged some time back. I am desisting from mentioning his name in this public forum for if his "fiance" comes across this blog, there would arise the need to say a silent prayer for both him and me. Evenings and weekends had drastically changed for him ever since his engagement. Earlier he would be watching cricket on his LCD TV or having "Life ka baat" sessions out with his friends at Bandstand, now he invariably ends up going out on shopping trips to the mall with his fiance. Life has taken an about turn for him.

For most guys shopping is a chore that they try to avoid as far as they can. They only grudgingly venture out into the mall if a friend tells them about a cool deal on an Express sports jacket, or when Apple comes out with a new IPhone that washes, irons and folds your laundry for you or if they need to replace their old shoes that have completely disintegrated with time. It is the complete opposite for girls. Shopping for them is a hobby, an obsession, an art form that was ingrained into their DNA during conception. If only a baby girl could communicate, she would probably tell her mom to take her to a Baby's fashion store so that she could check out the new diaper summer collection.

For most guys trips to the mall would get over in around 15 minutes; 5 minutes to find something he likes, 5 minutes to actually try it on and 5 more guilt ridden minutes to get in line and pay for it. But shopping with a girl is more like a day long outting, guys go there in the morning fresh and eager, hoping that it ends before lunch but by the time they are done they are completely exhausted, their legs hurt, their wallet is completely empty, they are struggling with heavy loaded bags that have been completely packed to the brim and when they walk out of the mall they realize that the sun has long since disappeared. The girl on the other hand still looks completely fresh and has an expression of absolute content on her face. For her its like they have just come out of a one day trip to Disney Land. The only thing going on in her mind, "Darn, I still haven't found that red party dress that the girl on the train was wearing last week, the main reason that we came shopping for. We'll go to a different mall tomorrow."

Yet another day shopping day has ended.

PS. I just realized this is my first blog ever not related to either cricket or politics or movies.

Jungle Mein Mor Naache .... k.k.k.k.k.k.kisne Dekha

1. Jungle Mein Mor Naacha - Kisne Dekha

Kisine dekha hai kya, Jungle Mein Mor Naacha. Agar nahi dekha toh jarooor dekhna. This is choreography and Bollywood at its hilarious best. An Absolute classic. Whoever thought of this video and the entire concept deserves a special award for promoting the national bird. This is Bollywood's F-worded (feathered) answer to Cats the Musical, Mor the Musical.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwaHNC15u8M

Its kind of surprising to see Waheeda Rehman prouncing about making wierd faces, with a silver Mor as her headgear with a super long feathered tail and getting kind of cuddly with the other mor. Probably a video she wouldnt want to show her kids and grand kids. Later I found out its from a movie called Shatranj with Rajendra 'Jubilee' Kumar, the epitome of non acting. The only words that come to mind after watching the video is,

"Yeh Dil Maange No Mor".


2. Main Big B banana chahta hoon

Well I havent taken up SRK's case in a while. But if some reports are to be believed, the Bad-Shah of Ham and Cheese has just crossed the limit of his obsession with trying out Big B's humongous shoes. After bumbling with AB's Don, SRK intends to remake the cult classic 'Deewar', which I think is AB's best acted out role till date.

Now its time to call him Shah "Ab Ruk Jaa" Khan. I have no problems with him trying out films with original storylines, but remaking all of a living legend's films just to prove to the world that you are better than him is toooo much. Stick to being chocolate boy Rahul or a Kabir Khan but thy can never be an angry young Vijay.

Talking of remakes, news is that Bollywood is remaking (read massacring) 'Karz' with Himesh Reshamiya as Rishi, 'Padosan' with Govinda as Mehmood and Sanjay Dutt as Kishore and 'Amar Akbar Anthony' by David Dhawan with Sallu and his 2 brothers.

AB: Tumhare Paas Kya Hai?????
SRK: Mere pppppaaas (huge pause) Rrrrremake Hai !!!!

3.

Well you know what could possibly be worse than the 2 points above? If some enterprising director tried to cross points 1 and 2 and remake Shatranj with SRK.

Jungle Mein Naache Mor ... k.k.k.k.k.kisne Dekha.

God save us!!!!!

Johnny Gaddar !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Johnny Mera Naam

Its been a while since I saw an original Hindi movie which was neither a uninspiring copy of an old Hindi/English/Tamil/Korean movie nor a butchered remake of a classic. It was just a very smartly made movie which didn't shy from revealing all the inspirations behind it. Johnny Gaddar is a must see.

Don't get me wrong, the script is not perfect, it does have its flaws, bullets fired in a crowded Mumbai society are not heard by neighbours nor does the fight sequence in the train wake up the other travellers.

But then the rest of the script is completely unpredictable and totally captivating. I wasn't able to guess any of the sudden 'kahani mein twists' in the movie ... not a single one and there are many of those ... this is such a rarity in Hindi cinema. The best part is that the director/writer cleverly shows us all of his creative influences interspersed thru the movie, Johnny hatching his plot while watching Amitabh's 'Parwana', the hotel receptionist watching Dev Anand in 'Johnny Mera Naam' and the James Hadley Chase novel that Johnny is reading on the train. Very smart. (Ajit style)

Let me end it here before I get carried away with my praise for the movie. Its just that its been a while since I saw a completely original and intelligent movie, the first since 'Lage Raho Munnabhai' that came out last year.

2. Themes in Movies

Each decade usually has a recurring theme in the movies. The 50's and 60's usually dealt with the evils of society, the 70s were the decade of a particular angry young man and stories about long lost brothers, the 80s continued the revenge trend while the 90s were the decade of the candyfloss SRK romance. Here are 2 of the most concurrent themes of the current decade:

1. The Adultery: SRK justified it in 'KANK', Neil was fired by it in 'Johnny Gaddar', Tushar Kapoor and Shreyas were each at it in 'Aggar', Emraan Hashmi has mastered it as an art form in all his movies, Amitabh was seduced enough in 'Nishabd', Salman was the guru in 'No Entry' and 'Biwi No.1', Anil Kapoor got rocking in 'Musafir' & 'Salaam-E-Ishq' and was drawn to it in 'No Entry', the entire male cast of 'Masti' wanted to but couldn't, Zahid Khan in 'Shabd', Vivek was suspected of it in 'Omkara' so was Salman in 'Hum Tumhare Hai Sanam'. The entire Kay Kay-Kangana-Sharman Joshi sequence was all about it in 'Life in a Metro'.

In fact I have seen so many movies with this theme that this decade seems to be the decade of the extra marital affair. But then producers only have to look within Bollywood for loads of inspiration on the subject. From Saif to Aamir to Boney to Dharampapa to (reportedly) Aditya Chopra.

2. The Super Casanova: This is the kind that sleep around so much so that even James Bond would need to take sanyaas in the Himalayas. From Akki versus Jon in 'Garam Masala', Sallu in 'No Entry', Akki, Ritesh and the other guy in 'Heyy Baby', Amitabh "puff diddy" Bachchan in 'KANK'; they are the kind that make women of all nationalities go weak in their knees. These 'super cool dude' are like an unstoppable force, and only a baby or a sati savitri heroine can act as their kryptonite.

Anyways thats it for this post. I have nothing else to say this week. Phew. In short, go watch Johnny Gaddar while its still in the theatres. And lets hope Bollywood producers get a load of reality soon and come up with some different themes. :)

Apan ka World This Week

Much has been going on in the news these days. So I thought I would be back with my usual post on the crazy things going on in my / our world.

1. The honorable ex PM, H D Deve Gowda, the humble son of a Karnataka farmer has by sheer greed for power incredibly orchestrated the fall of his own state government headed his own son. Thats what happens when you have a sleepy old ex PM with time on his hands and nothing constructive to do. Maybe we should just sentence him to community service for the rest of his life.

2. What ails the CPI(M). Their staunch opposition to the nuclear deal with the US is in all probability taking us into yet another national election. A bunch of intellectually confused Bengalis, Keralites and a single nonagenarian Sardar decide the fate of a nation of 28 states and 7 Union territories. But then this really does not bother people like Prakash Karat and Sitaram Yechury much, they know which country their funding comes from.

I am sure the CPI(M) firmly believes in this particular saying ever since their inception, "If it is there to be opposed, Oppose it."

3. Had been to my Karma-bhoomi in the US, Binghamton, over the weekend; my first long drive in our new car. I had a great time, the climate was great, the University has changed a bit for the better, Late Nite is as good, Newing still rocks, Ithaca was wonderful, Cayuga Lake was as serene, Downtown Binghy was completely happening and the best part was the company that I had was awesome. Hopefully we get to do something like this again next fall.

4. Saw "Dhol" a couple of weekends ago. It turned out to be a pretty decent movie. Typical Priyadarshan but was way way less over the top as compared to Heyy Baby and Dhamaal. More sedate if you please. Not that it was a classic or anything, it was just a little less painful as compared to some of the other movies we have watched in the past few months. I have heard some great reviews about Manorama and Johnny Gaddar and plan to watch them over the coming weeks.

5. India got a bruising welcome to the real cricket world after their success at the Twenty20 WC. Aussies, with their egos hurt, took their time inflicting destruction on India in the first 3 One dayers. But an awesome performance at Chandigarh has seen us bounce back into reckoning in the seven match series. Lets hope the team carries on all the good work in the remaining matches. Hail team India.

Thats it for now. I'll be back soon. Adios Muchacho.

JAANE BHI DO YAARO - Mahabharat

Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron

If only the directors today could make comedies even 10% as good as Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron, we would be laughing our guts out. Priyadarshan, David Dhawan and Inder Kumar, are you listening?

This is a cult classic and I must have seen this like a million times. I even know most of the dialogues by heart. Here is the poster of arguably the funniest Hindi film ever.

Tale of A Southern Satrap

News for the past week has revolved around 2 southern state regional satraps, the octogenarian M K Karunanidhi and Deve Gowda, the humble son of a farmer. Lets focus on MK in this post.

1. What is wrong with the people of Tamil Nadu. They seem to be going around in periodic cycles. 5 years of MK are invariably followed by 5 years of Amma and then we are back with MK. This has been going on for ages, at least for the past 25 years. I don't remember the last time the state had a different chief minister. And this is definitely not because the duo are excellent administrators, in fact the opposite holds true, their governments have invariably been associated with corruption, nepotism and inefficiency. One is a sun glass wearing rabble rousing octogenarian while the other is a bullet proof wearing amma whose house raid once revealed assets that would make Tina Ambani envious.

2. This has been going on so long that the election committee can save us a lot of tax payers money and not hold any future elections in TN. One of the 2 (decided by a televised toss presided over by Rajnikant) gets a shot at running (read destroying) the state for 5 years and then has to sit in the opposition while the other gets his turn. The number of seats that the governing party gets can be decided by the decibel power of its legislators. Lets have a shouting match.

3. Anyways getting back to the topic at hand, good old MK is currently embroiled with the Ram Setu project. This project calls for the land bridge (Adam's bridge or Ram Setu) between India and Lanka to be broken in order for ships to pass thru. The reason for undertaking such an expensive project being to get a shorter route for ships to go from Bengal to the Western coast of India. Dear old MK is so involved with this project that he questioned the existence of Ram (wonder if this famed "athiest" would have dared question the existence of Mohammad or Christ) and undertook a state wide bandh and a hunger strike for its cause. Such passion. If he had even 1% the passion to serve the people of TN, it would have worked wonders for the state.

Heres a nuetral mariners non religious view of the project.

Anyways the drama keeps on unfolding and thats that for this blog.

After all Politicians will always be politicians. :)