Latest news in since I wrote that last paragraph is that team India played fabulous to win the second match and shot itself right in the foot to lose the third match. Consistent at being inconsistent!
So that doesn’t leave me with many topics to write. Spent a Sunday at the India Day Parade marching with the Marathi Mandal yelling out patriotic slogans (at the end of the day my voice was more like a croak) and trying to get a glimpse of the very-pretty Priyanka Chopra. All the other floats more or less featured a bevy of what I think were ABCD PYTs gyrating to the latest remixed Bollywood and a fusion of Bhangra-Hip Hop songs. They seemed to have come straight from partying all nite at a Desi / Bhangra Blowout club in midtown. At times it felt like I was at the Brazilian Carnival at Rio than an India day parade in NY. However the one float that impressed me had a band of Americans playing out a classic patriotic Hindi song.
Going back to my topic for the post, the one thing that has kept me occupied most weekdays in the past 2 years since I started working in NY has been the re-runs of the 90s sitcoms on TBS and Fox. Here's a list of who I think are the wackiest characters I have seen so far on a TV screen, along with some of the most memorable quotes.
1. Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!
2. Cosmo Kramer (Seinfeld)
Kramer: It's a write off for them.
Jerry: How is it a write off?
Kramer: They just write it off.
Jerry: Write it off what?
Kramer: Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.
Jerry: You don't even know what a write off is.
Kramer: Do you?
Jerry: No. I Don't.
Kramer: But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.
Jerry: I wish I could have the last 20 seconds of my life back.
Dean Jones: "I've been reviewing Darren's internship journal. Doing laundry, mending chicken wire, high tea with a Mr. Newman?"
Kramer: "Well, it all sounds pretty glamorous, but it's business as usual at Kramerica."
Dean Jones: "Far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is little more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken."
Kramer: "And with Darren's help, we'll get that chicken!"
Kramer: Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's. peppermint; it's delicious!
Jerry: That's true.
Kramer: It's very refreshing!
3. Peter Griffin and Stewie (The Family Guy)
Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim!
Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic!
Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!
Brian Griffin: So what happened?
Stewie Griffin: Well, you wanna know what I learned this week? Being a grown-up sucks. Women, Brian, what a royal pain in the ass. It's like, it's like why can't you just hang out with guys, you know, just live with someone of your own sex, just do what you do with women, but with your buddy. You know what, why don't guys just do that?
Brian Griffin: They do. It's called being gay.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, is that what gay is? Oh, yeah. I could totally get into that.
4. Newman (Sienfeld)
George Costanza: Let me ask you something... What do you do for a living, Newman?
Newman: I'm a United States postal worker.
George Costanza: Aren't those the guys that always go crazy and come back with a gun and shoot everybody?
Newman: Sometimes.
Jerry: Why is that?
Newman: Because the mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming and coming. There's never a letup, It's relentless. Every day it piles up more and more, but the more you get out, the more it keeps coming. And then the bar code reader breaks. And then it's Publisher's Clearinghouse day.
Jerry: All right, all right.
[Jerry takes Newman's mail route so Newman can get transfered to Hawaii]
Newman: Too many people got their mail. Close to 80%. Nobody's ever cracked the 50% barrier.
Jerry: I tried my best!
Newman: *Exactly*. You're a disgrace to the uniform.
[Newman rips USPS patch off of coat]
Jerry: You know, this is your coat.
Newman: [looks at torn patch] Damn.
Jerry: Newman, you wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce.
Newman: I love broccoli. It's good for you.
Jerry: Really? Then maybe you'd like to have a piece?
Newman: Gladly.
[Newman spits it out]
Newman: Vile weed!
Newman: Hello, Jerry.
Jerry: Hello, Newman.
5. Michael Kelso (70s show)
[Donna and Kelso are hiding under a bed.]
Donna Pinciotti: Is that your hand on my ass?
Michael Kelso: It was an accident.
Donna Pinciotti: Kelso, your hand's still on my ass.
Michael Kelso: IT'S STILL AN ACCIDENT!
I would also like to make a mention of the neurotic George Costanza (Seinfeld), Stephen Colbert (Colbert Report), Niles Crane (Frasier), Frank Barrone (70's Show), the kids from South Park (OMG!!! They Killed Kenny. You b@$t@rds) and the Medical staff of Scrubs.
2 comments:
yes kramer is really wackiest and often tells us we can be happy with so little less......all we have to do is borrow ....just go to jerry`s place and get it from his fridge.....or wear his wet expensive leather jacket! he is really wacky!
Kramer Rox :p
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